Gwyneth Paltrow on Feeling Bloated, Treating Pimples, and Her #1 Beauty Product

Amanda Montell

Jon Kopaloff/Getty

Gwyneth would be out in five minutes, they said. "She's not ready yet," one of her people whispered to another one of her people. "Oh, and we need SmartWater."

I was sitting in the corner of the Ulta store where our interview would take place, and when I was offered one of the extra bottles, I accepted without hesitation. If SmartWater was Gwyneth's drink of choice, then today it would be mine too.

It hadn't quite hit me yet, but today I would be meeting with Gwyneth Paltrow in honour of her makeup line for Juice Beauty, which launched earlier this year. I've always put Gwyneth in a premium category of celebrity; it's hard for me to imagine her living on planet Earth with the rest of us. But Juice's founder, Karen Behnke, guaranteed she is very much a real human. In fact, she was appointed as the brand's creative director of makeup for her authenticity.

"Gwyneth is a celebrity who walks the walk and talks the talk," Behnke told me. A natural fit for the Phyto-Pigments makeup collection.

"Gwyn's very into naming the products," an Ulta representative said as I waited for the star to appear. "All the liquid lipsticks are named after her friends: Reese, Drew, Cameron." To calm my nerves, I swatched Cameron on the back of my hand (she was delightfully pigmented for a plant-based lippie) and sipped my $8 water.

Indeed, no more than five minutes later, Paltrow materialised from behind a partition, impossibly tall and blonde and swathed in polka-dotted fabric.

"Nice to meet you," she said with an ear-to-ear smile, and already I was under her spell. The next seven minutes were a blur. I don't remember a single thing that was said. Luckily, my recorder was able to capture the following—what I personally consider to be the Gwyneth Paltrow–iest interview ever. 

To read the most magical Gwyneth Paltrow beauty lessons you'll ever find on the internet, just keep scrolling.

The interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Want more celebrity exclusives? Don't miss that one time we went on a beauty safari with Shay Mitchell.

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