5 Simple Things I Do When I Feel Bloated That Make Me Feel Better Instantly

Amanda Montell
PHOTO:

Stocksy

We've written a lot about how to get rid of bloating here on Byrdie. We've written about teas, spices, and essential oil recipes promised to flatten your belly within hours; we've written about foods that naturally detox you and foods to avoid if you don't want excess bubbles trapped in your guts. We've covered it all, and that's for two simple reasons: We all deal with bloating, and it totally sucks.

But recently, I noticed there was one category of de-bloating advice missing from Byrdie's catalogue: How to mentally deal with feeling puffy and gross, instead of how to physically deal. Because here's the thing: Yes, drinking ginger tea, avoiding soda, and slathering black pepper oil all over your body can help you get rid of excess gas and water, but sometimes, for whatever reason, these methods don't do the trick, and then you loathe yourself even more because you've tried your darndest to detox and still feel like a hot-air balloon. I know I've had experiences of feeling so swollen after a couple days of too much drinking and inflammatory foods that I feel completely out of control of my body, that everyone thinks I look like a Pacific sea mammal, and that I need to just stay in my house, drink lemon water, and not eat for a week.

But that, as our rational brains might tell us, is not healthy. "De-bloating" overnight is not realistic, and nobody ever notices you're bloated except you. With a condition like bloating, it's important to put your body into perspective, not into overnight detox. That's why I've found that adjusting my mental perception of my shape when I'm bloated puts me significantly more at ease than engaging in some sort of physical quick fix. So in the name of being decent to your body (and mind), here are five steps to take when you feel ickier than usual that don't involve dieting, detoxing, or hating yourself.

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